In this article
You settle on the sofa and your dog presses against your leg. Lovely. Then you wrap both arms round their shoulders and they turn their head away. Those two moments can look like the same cuddle to us, but they offer your dog very different choices.
PDSA advises that full-on hugs can feel restrictive, and suggests strokes or play when a dog looks uncomfortable. The useful question is how your dog responds to the contact you are offering, including whether they can end it. You do not need to settle a debate about all dogs before changing one awkward cuddle.1
Snuggling and holding are different
Dogs Trust distinguishes a dog choosing to approach and snuggle from a person wrapping arms round them, picking them up or lying on them. Its family guidance recommends letting the dog come close while retaining the freedom to move away. That gives you a practical alternative to an enclosing hug.2
You might call both experiences “cuddles”. Your dog does not need to share your definition. Look at what is happening: where your arms are, whether your face is close to theirs and whether getting up would mean pushing past you. Change the arrangement before asking the dog to put up with more of it.
This also makes advice easier to share with visitors. You can say, “Sit here and let him come over,” instead of discussing whether he is an affectionate dog. The decision concerns this interaction, with this person, today. It need not become a label for the dog or a judgement on your relationship.
What the hug-video research shows
A 2024 study by Walsh and colleagues examined popular online videos: 30 involving play, 80 hugging and 80 petting. Its published abstract reports numerous behaviours associated with stress and possible misunderstandings between people and dogs. The authors also note that the meaning of a behaviour can depend on the interaction and the pair involved.3
These were selected internet videos, not a random sample of household dogs or an experiment assigning dogs to receive hugs. The study cannot tell you what percentage of all dogs dislike being hugged. Nor does observing a behaviour by itself establish the dog's emotional state with certainty.3
That is enough reason to watch the dog in the picture more carefully. It is not a reason to replace observation with a statistic remembered from a social-media post. For a family photograph, the useful choice is whether you can take it without arranging your dog's body into a pose they are trying to leave.
A separate 2025 pilot studied touch in 18 certified therapy dogs with 44 people. In one condition owners held the lead while people touched the dog continuously; in the other, dogs could move freely in a pen and people touched them when they approached within reach. Each interaction lasted three minutes.4
The published abstract reports more ears-back behaviour during the held condition, but more sniffing and avoidance during free choice. Dogs nevertheless spent 77.9% of free-choice time within people's reach. This was a small study of therapy-dog touch, not a trial proving that a particular hug is welcome or safe.4
The results resist a neat “dogs love touch” or “dogs hate touch” slogan. A dog can choose proximity while also valuing an opportunity to leave. In daily life, you can offer both without having to recreate an experiment in your sitting room.
Pause and look for a fresh invitation
RSPCA Australia recommends allowing animals to initiate contact, watching their response and pausing. Leaning in, nudging or pawing for more can indicate that they want the interaction to continue; leaning away, looking away or leaving suggests that it should end. Ask the owner first when the animal is unfamiliar.5
A gentler way to offer contact
Treat this as a handling habit, not a laboratory test or permission for every kind of touch. A nudge for another shoulder stroke does not answer whether your dog wants to be lifted, kissed or squeezed. Ask the smaller question again whenever you change what you are doing.
PDSA similarly suggests pausing petting and noticing whether your dog brings their head back under your hand. It recommends stroking the side, back or chest and avoiding looming over the dog. During a hug, head turning, flattened ears, lip licking or nervous looking around are reasons to stop and give space.1
You do not have to keep repeating the pause until you get the answer you wanted. If your dog goes elsewhere, carry on with your own afternoon. Next time, offer a different way to spend time together. You can be interested in their preference without making them perform it on demand.
Make the family version clearer
An online survey published in 2017 included 402 caregivers of children aged six or younger, mostly in Austria and Germany. The 2014 questionnaire found that 46% of respondents answering the relevant question frequently saw their child hug the family dog. Hugging became more frequent with child age, while reported attentiveness during supervision declined.6
This was a voluntary caregiver survey, with differing numbers answering individual questions. It measured reported interactions and attitudes, not the probability that one hug would cause a bite. A familiar or kindly intended interaction still needs an adult to consider the dog's response and the circumstances.6
Make the household instruction short enough to use in the moment. “Arms to yourself; let's see if she comes over” is easier to follow than an explanation delivered after a child has already thrown their arms round the dog. Adults can demonstrate the alternative before asking children to remember it.
NC State's veterinary guidance recommends supervising interactions even with familiar dogs believed to be friendly. Children should ask the owner before petting, use the shoulder or back rather than the head, and leave dogs alone while sleeping, eating or chewing. Dogs need somewhere children cannot follow them.7
Affection with room to move
Keep the same instructions for grandparents, visiting children and adults who say they have always done it this way. You can be friendly and firm: “We let her choose when she comes over.” There is no need to make your dog demonstrate discomfort to justify a house rule.
When the response worries you
A tense body, hard stare, growl or snap means the interaction needs to end. PDSA advises stopping the trigger, giving space and avoiding punishment or forced exposure. Telling a dog off or continuing to hold them can make the situation worse. Do not repeat the hug to see whether the warning happens again.8
Contact your vet about a new behaviour change, especially sudden aggression. Pain can contribute to a dog's response to handling, and the vet can investigate medical causes and recommend an accredited behaviourist. Until you have help, avoid the contact that prompted the response and manage separation where needed.8
You can tell the vet what changed without testing the dog: who approached, where the dog was resting, where they were touched and what happened next. An account of an ordinary incident is more useful than staging a second one for a video. Bring questions about comfortable everyday handling to the appointment.
For a dog who would rather sit beside you than be held, make room beside you. Put the camera down, offer your hand and leave them free to decide whether this is a moment for company or a moment for their own end of the sofa.
Sources and further reading8 sources
The small numbers in the article link to the source behind each fact. Sources open on their own websites.
- Five things your dog is trying to tell you
- Living happily together: grown-ups’ guide
- Human-dog communication: How body language and non-verbal cues are key to clarity in dog directed play, petting and hugging behaviour by hu…
- Can I touch you? A pilot study comparing consensual and non-consensual human-dog touch interactions
- Should I hug my dog or cat?
- Caregiver Reports of Interactions between Children up to 6 Years and Their Family Dog—Implications for Dog Bite Prevention
- NC State College of Veterinary Medicine Behaviorist Urges Awareness to Protect Children from Dog Bites
- What should I do if my dog is aggressive?